Welcome to the first Reflections — an occasional letter from our practice. We begin with a conversation that has stayed with our founder's students for years: Sonny Manuel, S.J., on what it means to truly accompany another person through suffering.

On Suffering, Presence, and Grace

“There's a way in which we forget that something about our prayer was about openness to pain and suffering. Fundamentally it's about understanding your own pain — and the better you can understand that, the more effective you'll be in helping other people.

But the other reality is that when you encounter someone who carries their pain with courage, you are actually fed and nourished by them. Even though you're passing yourself off as the caregiver, the truth is that the people we serve heal us.”

In the full conversation, Sonny tells the story of a boy who taught him that lesson; describes the three stages of learning to be with someone rather than to fix them; and offers what he calls his one true conviction — that God does not do outcomes, only presence.

Thank you for reading. We'll write again when there's something worth sending.

— The Gerdenio Manuel Center for Psychotherapy